Fairy Tales have changed!
The New ones are a little different from what we remember

Old version with good morals vs.

New version with modern thinking

No equivalent
in
my
memory

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.

He followed her to school each day,
T'was even in the rule.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.

(A recent addition)
And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name.

Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'Let me taste your ware.'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Show me first your penny.'
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'Indeed I have not any.'
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man to Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass' !!


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses
And all the king's men.
Couldn't put Humpty
Together again.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses
And all the king's men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


Hey Diddle diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle
The Cow jumped over the Moon.
The little Dog laughed to see such sport
And the Dish ran away with the Spoon.
Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
But when the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgy ran away.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She was Horrid!
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront
condo, and a sports car.

You have to be old enough to appreciate this.
If you don't understand, it is because you are too young.
 

Maybe this will help to explain:
Jackie Gleason was popular in the mid 50's.

Jackie Gleason – “The Honeymooners”: The Lost Episodes
Ralph Kramden George Wendt
Alice Kramden Nora Dunn
Ed Norton ..... Anthony Michael Hall

[Scene opens with Alice in the kitchen, as Ralph attempts to come through the front door. Alice goes to open the door for Ralph, but he enters the room from behind a side wall of the set]

Ralph Kramden: Alice, I'm home! [laughing] I was hiding in the bedroom the whole time! Honey, where's my eats – I'm going bowling tonight!
Alice Kramden: Here you go, Ralph. [places a small container in front of him]
Ralph Kramden: What's this?
Alice Kramden: Tuna fish.
Ralph Kramden: Tuna fish?
Alice Kramden: Well, my mambo lesson ran late, I didn't have time to fix you a hot dinner.
Ralph Kramden: Mambo lessons? Mambo lessons?! All day long, I've been driving up and down Madison Avenue in that bus and when I come home I can't have a hot supper because you're taking mambo lessons?!
[a knock at the door]
Alice Kramden: Get the door, Ralph.
[Ralph answers the door, letting Ed Norton enter]
Ed Norton: Hey, what you say there, Ralphie boy? [sets up a turntable near the front door] I think I've got this thing figured out, Alice! [puts a mambo record on, as he and Alice practice their dance moves]
Ralph Kramden: Will you come on with that?! [hits Norton, who stumbles into the record player] This is too much! This time you've pushed me too far!
Alice Kramden: Oh, Ralph ... the only way I can push you is if I had a bulldozer.
Ralph Kramden: You're a riot, Alice ... you're a regular riot. One of these days, Alice, I'm telling you ... one of these days!
Alice Kramden: One of these days, what, Ralph? Your gut's gonna hang over the top of your shoes?
Ralph Kramden: [grumbles] Bang, zoom – to the moon, Alice! to the moon!
Alice Kramden: Ha ha, hardy ha ha! You know, you've been saying that for years, Ralph. You're all talk and no action! You're just a big windbag!
Ralph Kramden: [peeved once and for all, Ralph finally smacks Alice right in the jaw, knocking her to the floor]
Ed Norton: Hey, Ralph? I never actually saw you connect before, Ralph!
Ralph Kramden: Get out!
Ed Norton: She went down like a sack of potatoes, huh?
Ralph Kramden: Get outta here, you!
Ed Norton: [opens the door to leave] Hey, Ralph, let me ask you one more question – was it an uppercut, or across?
Ralph Kramden: Would you get out of here?! [throws Norton out]
Alice Kramden: [comes to, rises slowly from the floor]
Ralph Kramden: Honey, uh ... I'm awfully sorry ... [pulls Alice up] I don't know why you put up with me, baby ... I know I never buy you anything, and I never take you anywhere ... I know we only have sex about once a year ... honey, could you forgive me? Please?
Alice Kramden: Oh, Ralph ...
Ralph Kramden: Baby, you're the greatest!
[they kiss, to fade]